Living In A Magazine

Welcome, dear reader, to the latest installment of Larry and Rita's Bunny Business.

Rita here, and there has certainly been some funny business this month! I was planning on reviewing a new gourmet hay product recently procured from Bryan the Vet, but what with all the excitement recently it's going to have to wait. I'm really sorry!

I'll get straight to the point. Larry and I are big readers - we'll read anything that lines our litter tray. Obviously we prefer highbrow material like 'The Guardian' or 'Viz', but unfortunately we can't often choose and last week we had to put up with a shoddy publication called 'The Times Saturday Magazine'. Anyway, one particular article caught my eye as I shuffled some sawdust out of the way and began to have a wee over it.

I've found it online here, but this is an extract. Brace yourselves:

Meanwhile, Rebecca, [that's our Rebecca, gives us food and stuff -R] a friend of the family, was walking home to Hackney by the Grand Union Canal when she saw a group of boys dangling a kitten off a bridge. “Is that cat yours?” she demanded. “No,” they admitted in surly pre-teen fashion. “Then give it to me right now or I’ll call the police,” said Rebecca, having calculated, correctly as it turned out, that these boys were young enough, just, still to be influenced by the twin threats of an adult speaking sternly and the summoning of the law.

Once Rebecca had got the kitten home, things moved quickly. She has but a small flat, which she already shares with her fiancé and two rabbits, one of whom, Larry, faces a constant battle with his weight. Rebecca knew that we had the space and the inclination. The upshot was that when I got home last Friday, the spare room was all laid out for a new arrival: basket, litter tray, imitation mouse and so forth.

Whoa there!! Now it all makes sense - that creature we showed you last week, it was a kitten, but it doesn't live with us anymore - Phew! More news: Larry faces a 'constant battle with his weight'. Well, hello? Hold the front page! Come on Mr Times, everybody knows Larry is a FAT RABBIT, that's hardly the scoop of the century! I showed Larry what was in the magazine and he mumbled something about 'post-traumatic stress' before tucking in to his seventh leaf of the day. Oh yes and fiance?? Enough said!

To be honest this event raises more questions than answers. Why am I reading about bloody Larry's weight issues in a floppin' national newspaper? Is there no end to the British public's desire for celebrity tittle tattle? Will we ever get to meet the little cat thing in person? And why would she marry him??

Take care, bunny hoppers - it's a crazy world out there!

Rita x